Carry the Ruff Diamonds On Up the Khyber



“Captain Keene: Fire at will!” “Brother Belcher: Poor old Will, why do they always fire at him?” I have a strong preference for the Norman Hudis films but the Talbot Rothwell-written "Carry On Up the Khyber" (1968) is in the same fine tradition: ridiculously entertaining, highly rewatchable, and as silly as it is brilliant. Set in the British Raj, we get to enjoy the Carry On team in beautiful military or traditional costumes, with a shopping list of delightfully cheeky postcard and intriguingly post-colonial jokes and routines (and also an elephant or two in picturesque Snowdonia). When local 'burpas' discover that the legendary 'Third Foot and Mouth' Regiment do wear undergarments under their skirts (and are therefore less terrifying haha), the Khasi of Kalabar - Kenneth Williams with gleefully rolling eyes and glittery turbans - uses this to inspire revolts, as Sir Sidney Ruff-Diamond (Sid James) and Captain Keene (sweet Roy Castle) try to stop them.


I would say my ultimate favourite part of the whole film (if I had to choose) is the whole concept of the Khyber Pass imperial border (which the burpas breach), and it's the most hilarious thing: literally a rickety garden gate in the middle of this entire (ungated) valley, guarded by Charles Hawtrey with a hot water bottle. 'That will teach them to ban turbans on the buses' (do you remember the other bus-related joke from "Carry On Cleo," with Julius Caesar shouting: "I've cleaned up this city! Have you forgotten my slogan? 'Nihil expectore in omnibus' - no spitting on the public transport!" Good, winking twinkling humour Xo

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