Perfect things: Rainy or unhurried afternoons, Charles Dowding gardening videos, imagining how many golden retrievers I'd keep in the far future, Liam Gallagher songs, and a special cup of tea by my special armchair. Another perfect thing: 'Bilko's Perfect Day' from "The Phil Silvers Show," for when you're feeling on top of the world or need a pick-me-up for your old tired self. In this episode, the Heavens ordain that today's Perfect Day should be granted to a master sergeant in Kansas, Ernest G. Bilko, except he doesn't know it. Not only that but he wakes up convinced this out of all days is specifically not his day: "I got a feeling in my bones, today is the kind of day nothing works for me" (distractedly tries a lighter that never works, it sparks and lights but he tosses it aside) you ever have one of those?" A series of hilarious little events show us how Bilko treads miraculous waters but has his head in a little cloud, as everything he wishes becomes reality, as a Lieutenant covers for him when he gets into serious trouble with a civilian, as he gives Doberman the correct answer to win a contest in town, when he suggests to Ritzik that there might be pearls in the oysters for the officers' lunch, and when he inadvertently wishes that his bookie would be hit by a truck so he didn't have to pay him. After a hilarious scene where the distraction slowly falls from his eyes and he realises, he is galvanised with the realisation and leaps up, crying out, "this is my day and I didn't know it! ... This is the day I can't lose, this is the day when I can rule the world and I only got two hours to do it!"
And everything conspires to meet his wishes until the magic pumpkin hour of midnight (and the cloudy skies rumble a laughing "You can't win.") Too late, too late to enjoy, and so devastatingly hilariously neatly timed Xo
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